-Come on boy! Give them hell! - he shouts at me -Let’s paint the world rrrrred!!HAHAHA!
I try to cover my ears and dodge the disgusted looks on the subway, and I almost run when I get to my stop.
-Wrong direction boy! They are all back THERE not over HERRREE…
He never stops laughing, day and night, his face white, bald, a black white striped suit, those yellow eyes and that mouth full of razor sharp teeth.
-We could have fun, but no, here are you, straight back to home, to take those stupid pills. RrrrRRight…My poor boy is an ssscaredy cat.
-Shutupshutupshutupshutup. You are just a voice in my head and all voices in my head are my voices so when I say to shut up you shut up, now shutupshutup…!
I dash in my filthy, claustrophobic, apartment. I hate it.
-Ohh! I am a VOICE in your head and I belong to you?! Oh well, look at the bright side, it means we belong together, and that we will stay like that forever and everrr! Delicious! Simply de-li-ci-ous! Hmm so tasty! See, we both know you will brake at any moment, then we will have FUN.
I bash my hand on the wall. It bleeds and the buzz in my head deafens his everlasting laughs. The smell of blood is too much to me to take… Shacking I drag my feet to the kitchen and swallow more pills than I was supposed to, like I do most times. Soon it hit me good, and I can barely reach my old, smelly bed before falling sleep in the pharmaceutical haze that don’t send him away, but still, make him behave nicely for the night.
I wake up. The radio clock mark 4:00 am with its glowing red numbers, my head burst in pay and laugher.
-Darrrling! Get up and see, in the strrreet, something nice to you…
I feel compelled to obey. His hands feel so real, more real than usual. I look down, in the street a single little girl, cant be older than 9. But she is NOT normal:
The pale skin is like white paint, the eyes are two small glowing beads, yellow, deep in the eye sockets. Mouth like a beak, fingers are snakes, colorful and dark. I don’t want to see it anymore, I need more pills!
-Stay put son, that’s little Mary, oh Mary! She agreed in come all way herrrre from… your…mind, to help you to man up a little! Look, you can see across the street, that bum who always scare you shitless, and that call you crrrazy? That MOCK you?
His hand now is solid and cold as steel, pressing my head against the window, I can’t break free. I watch the little monstrous girl waltz to the sleepy bum.
I can see clearly as the thin colorful snakes that are her fingers move into his nostrils. He wake up, scared shitless. I am scared too. He open his mouth, but no scream come out, just a torrent of thin snakes, hundreds, they bite his flesh, ripping off the skin of his bones. Oh my god, there is no ending to it. His abdomen is shredded from inside. And a very tall figure emerges. Its blonde and use nothing but a boxer-short. His hands are two clown heads with huge demented eyes. Now both stare at me, the girl, the boxer, I want it to stop. I try to break free, but them, they are all gone. He too, isn’t there anymore to hold me still. I am bleeding from my nose. I cant stand the blood. I took a handful of pills and I awake only two days later. As usual, no one missed me, no one looked for me.
As I open my eyes and sit on my bed, terror overwhelms me as I see not only him, but so many others. Mary, The boxer with heads of clowns as hands, a man with a dog head in the stomach and a bear trap as mouth, his skin stretched over it; A fat woman with two heads and ape feet. All so white, all so terrible. He come for me, jumps in the bed and holds me down, still:
-Hello my dear kitty!! Look how many new frrrieds I found forrr us, they were all there, in your mind! Oh we have such imagination!
He drag me by my apartment, I can’t escape his grasp, is it real or a delirium? I don’t know, I just want it to stop. As we leave my apartment, I see hundreds more of those demons from my mind, deformed and insane. The streets, covered in blood and gore, corpses lay mutilated, and the smell: Blood, I don’t think I can’t take it anymore!
There are so many, they all look at me, so insane, they offer me gifts, limbs hacked from their victims, guts ripped off and tapestry made of bloody skin. A scepter from a broom covered with blood and ornamented with finger nails. Flesh still hang from them. A crown made of foreheads and teeth, tied together with barbed wire is fixated to my head. A huge cloak, made of thousands and thousands of human scalps is tied around my shoulders. In the middle of the city, thousands of them, no, millions: Am I so insane?
He sit me on a throne made of old chairs and tongues, then lean over me to speak cordially:
-First yes, you this crazy my boy! That’s fine, we love you for that, so much! Second, we waited forr you, but you took so long… So we started the parrrrrty without you, please don’t be… MAD at us!
A deafening roar of thousands laughters exploded.
-But now my dear general, we cant wait anymore. You see, there are a world out there… and we totally want it! We want to see it burrrrrn. And is like you said, we are voices in your head… Your voices…What means that YOU want it. So no more fooling around, lets get down to business!
He throw me on the ground and drag me to a cage, filled with people, living people. They are crying, naked and horrified at my inner monsters.
He grab a pistol and give it to one of them. He hold it unsure of what to do. I can see his sanity sliping away.
My personal demon look at me and smiles:
-Never forget, I am you, and you are us. So I hope you wake up and starrrrrrt having some FUN!
The man pull the trigger, crying and laughing, until the gun is empty. I feel horror and joy. My demons is dead. But it mean I am dead too, part of me.
I jump over the man, and maul him with my fists. My mouth on his neck, my teeth on his jugular. The blood and the insanity, both flow beyond my control.
-It’s so tasty… Sorry my friend… But relax… I prrrromisse you, from now on it will be parrrty all day, and all night… until this world burns to the bones… KIDS: is PARTY TIME!
The one who felt dead wasn’t my demon, was my weak human side, in eternal denial. I choose it to die. It was so annoying. Scarredycatscarredycat… No more shutyourmouth…
I laugh, the world is mine.
Outside a padded room, a medic watches a man laugh hysterically, his face disfigured in a cruel smile, tied in his strait jacket.
-Well look like pills wont help this kitty anymore… Sorry son, I trried to put you back in line…Hmrrr
A pale man, bald, turn his back on the dement patient and walk away.
Fin.
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